The struggling artist gets the shock of his life when the gallery...
A guy is walking down the street and he sees his friend with a black eye. He asks him what happened. His friends says, "Well I was in church and..." The man interrupts "Church! How do you get hurt in church?" The friend continues, "Well, I was sitting behind this woman Angelina, and...
The struggling artist gets the shock of his life when the gallery...
Three bulls heard the rancher was bringing another bull onto the ranch. First Bull: "I've been here five years. I'm not giving this new bull any of my 100 cows." Second Bull: "I've been here three years and have earned my right to 50 cows. I'm keeping all my cows." Third Bull: "I've only...
The struggling artist gets the shock of his life when the gallery...
As a guitarist, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost. I finally...
The struggling artist gets the shock of his life when the gallery...
I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Joseph, the 14 year old next door whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over. Joseph clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He...
The struggling artist gets the shock of his life when the gallery...
Carl and Suzanne had been married for almost 45 years. Lovely couple, but Carl had this one bad habit that had always disgusted Suzanne. Every morning, before getting out of bed, Carl would let out this thunderous, paint peeling fart. Poor Suzanne would just cringe. Over the years she had...
The struggling artist gets the shock of his life when the gallery...
Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan? And didn't I marry ye and yer Hoosband two years ago?" She replied, "Aye, that ye did, Father." The Father asked, "And be there...
The struggling artist gets the shock of his life when the gallery...
A man in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Alberta Bear Removers." He calls the number and the man says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a...
The struggling artist gets the shock of his life when the gallery...
Three Kids are arguing about who's dad is the fastest. At lunch the first boy says, "My dad is the fastest because he is a brick layer & when he drops a brick from the 5th floor he can run to the ground level & be there before the brick hits!" "Not bad," says the 2nd boy, "But my dad is...
The struggling artist gets the shock of his life when the gallery...
A frog named Jimmy Jagger walked into a bank and sat down at the desk of a loan officer. She was a friendly-looking young woman with a name tag that said Patricia Whack. "I'm looking to take out a personal loan of $5000," the frog said. The loan officer stared at him skeptically. "Do you...
The struggling artist gets the shock of his life when the gallery...
Two Americans are touring Europe, and are scheduled to arrive in France Sunday afternoon. However, they arrived several hours early, and had little to do on Sunday morning while everything was closed. "Well," one says to the other, pointing to a nearby Cathedral, "Why don't we attend Mass?"...
The struggling artist gets the shock of his life when the gallery...
Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening... ... the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist - he insulted me terribly this morning on the phone." Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and...
The struggling artist gets the shock of his life when the gallery...
A man owned a small ranch in Montana. One day the labor department got a tip he wasn’t paying proper wages to his employees so they sent an investigator to find out what’s going on. “Please tell me how many employees you have and how much you pay them”, the investigator asked the rancher. ...
The struggling artist gets the shock of his life when the gallery...
Death comes to collect a man’s soul. When he gets to the man’s home, he sees the man and his family are in the middle of party. Death tells the man why he has come. The man begs Death to spare him but death insists that he must start at the top of his list and his name is first. The man...
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