im sorry.. I'm not blaming you. I just have a lot I would like to say and apologize for

I miss you. I don't give a fuck . I want to know you're OK . you're happy. you're loved. are you? are u dead ? dunno why i think u would ever give a fuck ...because u fucking didn't. you don't. you never did. you never will. you absolutely destroyed my life. and walked the fuck away on top of the other bullshit u got me into and left me to deal with on my own. again. and I'm the moron that still says I hope you're OK. I hope you're happy. I hope you're loved. what a fucking idiot I am . and was. I'll never speak to u again ... but that's what u had planned all along. Just so u could do what u were doing ... ya ... I know. I had a good lawyer. and I should've went to trial. but guess who didn't want to make you look like the liar u were ? ..me.. I didn't deserve this. talk to me. please.